During the last few weeks there have been a staggering number of circumstances that have caused some introspection on my part. As a mother I have had to think about my role and how that role evolves as my children grow up.
My daughter is the oldest of my four children. For sake of anonymity will call her Pumpkin Pie. She has essentially molded the routes I have taken over the last twenty years of my life. I was a very young mother. I struggled for many years trying to prove to the outside world that I was capable of being a good mom. I have relaxed as time has gone by. She has always been a very autonomous individual, but our relationship has remained close.
In September of 2006 Pumpkin Pie gave birth to a daughter of her own, Nanner Puddin'. Pumpkin Pie was also a young mother. I tried to be helpful during her pregnancy. I was there for every doctor appointment and right by her side for Nanner Puddin's arrival.
This week Pumpkin Pie gave birth to her second baby girl, Little Muffin. Pumpkin Pie told me that she and her husband wanted everyone to stay at home until Muffin was born. SHE DID NOT WANT ME THERE WITH HER WHEN SHE GAVE BIRTH! I was devastated! My heart felt as if it were being ripped from my chest. How could she not need, or at least want, me there with her during this monumental event. I am her mother and she NEEDS me! I had been there through stitches, broken bones, heart aches, and the birth of her first child. The only conclusion I could arrive at was that I had failed as a mother. This was her way of telling me that I was no longer worthy and she no longer needed me.
The next few days were very difficult for me. After much introspection and deliberation I came to a conclusion. I had not failed as a mother, on the contrary, I had been a raving success! I had raised and independent woman who is comfortable making decisions. She was able to say no even though she knew it would hurt me. Pumpkin Pie has become a woman!
After my epiphany of enlightenment I had a further revelation. I have recently attended a meeting, the speaker referenced relationships and how we pollinate through them. I further pondered this concept. The bee diligently gathers nectar as he is divinely ordained. This is necessary in the reproductive health of the flower. As he travels from flower to flower he is unaware that he deposits pollen he has acquired from previous flowers he has encountered. This fertilizes each bloom he touches. He is unaware of the grand impact he makes on each plant! The relationship between the bee and the flower may short-lived but the results will last a lifetime.
I have mostly viewed relationships as happenstance. I now see it differently. What I have imparted into Pumpkin Pie, and she into me, must be divinely ordered. I may feel I have failed, when in reality I have been a raving success! I am given a divine order to raise my children in the ways of the Lord. The attributes that I gather from my relationship with Christ transfers to my children.
It is an awesome thing to know that I have been entrusted with the monumental task of being a mother. It is all~the~more amazing to look at my Pumpkin Pie and know that I haven't done half bad!
